The Day I Beat Lance Armstrong
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After surviving one of the wettest, coldest, most miserable 100-mile rides of my life at the Ride for the Roses, I returned to my job as a 6th-grade geography teacher — tired, sore, and a little proud.Naturally, the students were curious. “How’d you do?” one asked.
Without missing a beat, I said, “I beat Lance Armstrong.”
That’s when a spunky girl in the back — the kind every teacher remembers — shot back: “Prove it.”
Now, keep in mind, this was the early 2000s. You couldn’t just whip up an AI photo or use Photoshop on your phone. But I had an idea.
A friend of mine had taken a picture of Armstrong early in the ride. I also had a photo of myself crossing the finish line. So I got to work. I merged the two images, aligning them just right so that it looked like I was beating Lance Armstrong by about a foot.
I had the picture printed and framed. Then I hung it in my classroom — right next to the map of Europe I used for teaching about the Tour de France.
On that ride — the one where I felt like I beat Lance — these bib shorts felt like performance gear. Breathable, padded, and built for long miles. Comfortable enough I barely noticed them… until I looked back and saw everyone behind me.
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Most of the kids could tell it was fake… but that wasn’t the point. The joke took off. For the rest of the school year, the running gag was that I was faster than Lance Armstrong and that I should try the Tour de France next summer.
It became one of those goofy classroom legends that made the year more fun — and one of my favorite teaching memories.
I gave the photo away to the student at the end of the year. This photo is AI generated.
On that very same day, I met Robin Williams (Sort of). Read this funny story.
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