The Old Guy Bicycle Blog

Even Cyclists Have Bad Days: Tales from the Two-Wheeled Underworld Ah, cycling. The wind in your hair, the sun on your face, the smug satisfaction of leaving all those car fumes in your dust (okay, maybe not all of them). It's like therapy on two wheels, right? WRONG. Because even us lycra-clad warriors of the road have our off days. Days where the universe seems to be personally conspiring against our spokes, and the only scenery we see is the inside of a ditch. Exhibit A: The Great Chain Debacle You're cruising along, feeling like Lance Armstrong reincarnated. Then, CLANG . Your bike shudders, your pedal goes rogue, and suddenly you're standing there like a confused flamingo, chain wrapped around your ankles like a vengeful serpent. Pro tip: Grease is your friend. And invest in a multi-tool, because let's be honest, you'll need it. Exhibit B: The Weather Warfare You wake up, birds are chirping, sky is blue. Perfect cycling weather, right? Wrong again. By the time...

Let’s Get One Thing Straight Donald Trump will never win the Tour de France. He’s not going to show up in lycra, clip into pedals, and climb the Col du Tourmalet under the blistering July sun. That’s not a political opinion — it’s just physics, logistics, and… reality. But if he did ride? He’d probably tell us he won. By a lot. Maybe even say it was the greatest Tour de France ever. Ask anyone. Everyone's talking about it. The Ego Gear: Always in High Imagine Trump in the peloton: He skips the prologue but claims the yellow jersey anyway. He drafts behind team cars and calls it “efficient leadership.” He claims the race was rigged when he doesn't make the time cut on Stage 2. And somehow, a podium appears just for him at the finish — red carpet, gold-framed sunglasses, and a speech claiming he rode faster than anyone in Tour history (despite not finishing a stage). But Let’s Be Honest — It’s Not Just Him As much as this pokes fun at Trump, there’s something ...