Donald Trump Will Never Win the Tour de France But He Will Probably Claim He Did

Donald Trump crossing the finish line of the Tour de France
Donald Trump is known for many things, but being a world-class cyclist is not one of them. In fact, it's safe to say that Trump would never win the Tour de France. But that doesn't mean he won't claim he did.

Why Trump Will Never Win the Tour de France:

There are a few reasons why Trump will never win the Tour de France. First, he's not in good enough shape. Trump is overweight and out of shape, and he doesn't seem to be interested in getting in shape.

Second, Trump doesn't have the right training. Cycling is a grueling sport, and it requires years of training to compete at the highest level. Trump has never undergone any serious cycling training.

Third, Trump doesn't have the right mental toughness. Cycling is a very demanding sport, both physically and mentally. Trump is known for having a thin skin and a short temper. It's unlikely that he would be able to handle the pressure of competing in the Tour de France.

Why Trump Will Probably Claim He Did:

Despite all of the evidence that suggests Trump will never win the Tour de France, there's a good chance he will claim he did. Trump is known for making false and exaggerated claims. He has lied about everything from his crowd sizes to his academic achievements. So it's not out of the realm of possibility that he would lie about winning the Tour de France.

Imagine Trump Winning the Tour de France:

If Trump did win the Tour de France, it would be one of the most bizarre and surreal events in human history. Trump would probably hold a giant victory parade in Washington, D.C. He would give a speech about how he's the greatest cyclist of all time and how he's made America great again.

Trump would also probably try to use his victory to promote his own businesses. He would sell "Trump Cycling Gear" and "Trump Victory Bikes." He would even try to start his own professional cycling team.

Conclusion:

Donald Trump will never win the Tour de France, but he will probably claim he did. It's just a matter of time before he starts bragging about his imaginary victory.

Funny Scenarios:

  • Trump finishing the Tour de France in last place, but claiming he won because he was the only one who finished.
  • Trump riding a bike with training wheels and claiming he's the best cyclist in the world.
  • Trump riding a bike with an electric motor and claiming he's won the Tour de France without any cheating.
  • Trump riding a bike with a motor scooter attached and claiming he's won the Tour de France because he was the first one to finish on a motor scooter.
  • Trump riding a bike backwards and claiming he's won the Tour de France because he was the only one who finished backwards.

Conclusion:

Donald Trump is a lot of things, but a world-class cyclist is not one of them. But that doesn't mean he won't claim he is. So be prepared for the day when Trump starts bragging about his imaginary victory in the Tour de France.

Here is my next blog post: Tips for Traveling on a Plane with a Bicycle

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