The Old Guy Bicycle Blog

Let’s Get One Thing Straight Donald Trump will never win the Tour de France. He’s not going to show up in lycra, clip into pedals, and climb the Col du Tourmalet under the blistering July sun. That’s not a political opinion — it’s just physics, logistics, and… reality. But if he did ride? He’d probably tell us he won. By a lot. Maybe even say it was the greatest Tour de France ever. Ask anyone. Everyone's talking about it. The Ego Gear: Always in High Imagine Trump in the peloton: He skips the prologue but claims the yellow jersey anyway. He drafts behind team cars and calls it “efficient leadership.” He claims the race was rigged when he doesn't make the time cut on Stage 2. And somehow, a podium appears just for him at the finish — red carpet, gold-framed sunglasses, and a speech claiming he rode faster than anyone in Tour history (despite not finishing a stage). But Let’s Be Honest — It’s Not Just Him As much as this pokes fun at Trump, there’s something ...