What Do You Buy a Triathlete Who Already Owns Everything?

Last Updated: December 10, 2025Funny cartoon illustration of swim, bike, run gifts for triathletes in Mad Magazine and Simpsons style

Quick Take: Triathletes already bought all the expensive stuff—bike, wetsuit, shoes, gadgets. So the best gifts are the practical upgrades they use every single day but never think to replace. Trust me: it's not the flashy gear that impresses them… it’s the stuff that makes training hurt a little less.

Before someone asks: no, I’ve never competed in a triathlon. I wanted to when I was younger, but after knee reconstruction, running is not on my approved activities list. I’m a cyclist through and through—70 years old, miles in my legs, and no shame in admitting I admire triathletes from the comfort of my saddle.

But here’s the thing: I used to run marathons. I’m a strong swimmer. And after decades of endurance training, I absolutely understand what triathletes go through. Three disciplines, constant fatigue, nonstop gear, and approximately 487 things to remember on any given training day.

So yes—I may not toe the start line of an Ironman, but I know exactly what gifts triathletes appreciate… and which ones go straight into the junk drawer.


1. A Real Transition Backpack (Because Chaos Doesn’t Organize Itself)

Triathletes love pretending they’re organized. Then race morning hits and they’re shoving goggles, towels, bottles, and nutrition into a beat-up gym bag that smells like 2011.

A transition backpack is the adult solution.


2. Recovery Sandals (Their Feet Are Dying. Help Them.)

Triathletes walk around like everything is fine, but after long bricks and track workouts, their feet are screaming for mercy. Recovery sandals are the “I didn’t know I needed this” miracle.


3. Waterproof MP3 Players (Because Staring at a Pool Floor Gets Old)

Even swimmers get bored. This fixes that. Music turns the endless lane grind into something almost enjoyable.


4. Foam Roller or Massage Gun (Every Triathlete Is Sore Always)

They may not admit it, but triathletes are held together by tight hamstrings, stubborn calves, and pure stubbornness. A foam roller or massage gun hits the reset button.


5. Triathlon Nutrition Packs (Because They Burn Calories Like a Dumpster Fire)

Swim-bike-run consumes an astonishing amount of fuel. Nutrition disappears fast. Gifts that keep them stocked are appreciated more than you think.


6. Indoor Smart Trainer (The Gift They’ll Talk About Until 2042)

If you want to be the hero of the holidays, this is it. A smart trainer turns winter suffering into productive, measurable training. It’s a big gift, but it pays for itself in fitness.


Budget-Friendly Gifts That Still Hit the Mark


My Final Take
Even though I’m strictly a cyclist these days, I love the sport of triathlon. It’s demanding, impressive, and full of athletes who push themselves harder than most people ever will. If you want to buy them something they’ll actually use, stick with the practical upgrades—comfort, recovery, organization, and indoor training. That’s the stuff that makes their daily grind easier.

And if all else fails? Get the recovery sandals. Trust me.

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