Cycling’s Bad Rides Suck Factor Guide
Cyclling’s Bad Rides Suck Factor Guide
Why We Need a “Suck Factor” Scale
If you’ve been riding long enough—especially as a 70-year-old senior cyclist—then you already know this truth: not every ride is magical. Some are fine, some are irritating, and a few are so miserable you question every life choice that got you onto two wheels.
Instead of pretending every ride is sunshine, I started rating my bad rides using a simple, brutally honest 3-level system.
Here’s how I measure how badly a bad ride really sucks.
🚲 Suck Factor 1: The Ride Just… Sucks
This is your garden-variety “something’s off today” ride.
Nothing catastrophic. Nothing dramatic.
You’re just fighting your own body or your own brain.
Typical Suck Factor 1 symptoms:
- Legs feel like wet cardboard
- Motivation tanks
- You mentally hit a wall
- You finish the ride but it isn’t pretty
These rides happen to everyone. At least you get home with your pride intact.
🚲 Suck Factor 2: Survival Mode Engaged
This is where the ride goes way off the rails, and you switch into “just get home” mode.
Common signs of a Suck Factor 2 ride:
- You shorten your route
- You instantly turn toward home
- Your pace drops way below normal
- You’re focused only on survival, not performance
🔹 The Pre-Knee-Replacement Meltdown
Before I had my knee replaced, I was riding one day when the pain exploded without warning. It instantly became a slow, painful coast home.
🔹 The Beta Blocker Collapse
While taking beta blockers, I hit a wall of exhaustion 15 miles from home. I limped back at a crawl.
👉 Read the full story here: Beta Blockers and Cycling: What I Learned the Hard Way
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🚲 Suck Factor 3: “Come Get Me” Territory
This is the top of the misery pyramid. This is when a ride ends because you physically or mechanically cannot finish it.
Defining Suck 3 features:
- Bike becomes unrideable
- Mechanical fails beyond trail repair
- Injury or pain makes pedaling impossible
- You’re forced to walk or call for rescue
🔹 The San Diego Tour Disaster
During a long tour, a rag got sucked into my derailleur and destroyed it. Ride over. Tour over.
👉 Correct story link: When a Rag Ended a Year of Cycling Dreams
🔹 The Day My AWOL Frame Cracked
Seven miles from home, my beloved AWOL bike frame snapped. I called my wife, and she brought the truck.
🔹 The Seat Post Snap From Hell
This one started as a Suck Factor 2 and immediately upgraded. My seat post snapped clean off while I was riding in an area with zero cell coverage.
I tried a painful “shuffle ride” just to inch toward civilization. Eventually a man in a pickup stopped and took me home. That ride was a full-blown Suck Factor 3.
👉 Full story is in this post: When Everything Goes Wrong on a Ride: A Cyclist’s Survival Guide
🔹 The Palo Duro Ride That Should Have Been a Suck Factor 3
My Palo Duro Canyon prep ride for Hotter’N Hell is one I’ll never forget. On any normal day, this ride would’ve been a Suck Factor 3 — the kind where you end up waiting on the side of the road for a rescue.
The heat that day was brutal. I was wobbling, dehydrated, cooked from the inside out, and flirting with real trouble. But here’s the kicker: I was there alone. No one to call. No way to bail out. No rescue option.
Because I had no choice, the ride forced itself into a grim, grinding Suck Factor 2. I slowed to a crawl, fought through the heat, and struggled my way back to my truck. If help had been available, that ride would’ve ended as a 3 — no question.
👉 Full write-up here: From a Broken Tour to the Struggle Bus
Sometimes a ride falls apart because of a mechanical — not your legs. These tools can save enough rides that they’re worth carrying every single day.
👉 Compact Multi-Tool
👉 Chain Tool + Quick Links
👉 Tire Levers - Carry a tube
👉 Mini-Pump
👉 Small Saddle Bag
A tiny toolkit won’t save every disaster, but it can turn a ride-ending Suck 3 into a slower, safer Suck 2.
Why This Scale Matters
Pretending bad rides don’t happen is fake. Every cyclist—especially older riders—hits these levels sooner or later.
The key is knowing when to push, when to slow down, and when to bail before making things worse.
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